If the world wasn’t such a fucked up mess I’d kill myself! I suppose I should buy into the progressive thought that the world is on a path of perfection or salvation, depending on whether one is political or religious. God help you if you’re both, you’d probably grin yourself to death. Let me explain. I’m a fiction writer and as such I know a little about plot, characters, and all that wonderful stuff that is suppose to make great fiction. But the one maxim in this world that will slap your face every time is that truth is stranger than fiction. The devil you say.
Politics makes for strange bedfellows or at least strange magic, can’t say I can tell the difference. So I was sitting at the Mayflower Hotel bar, home of the Mayflower Madam whom I do not know personally, and waiting for a table. Funny place, Washington DC, If you sit at the bar and have a drink while waiting for a table, the waitress must take your drink to your table as it is illegal to convey your drink in your hand yourself. Washington is just full of surprises. I was expecting my source for my next story in the Times. Expense accounts being one of the perks of an investigative reporter, although our days are numbered, no one subscribes to the daily newspaper. I expect to lose my expense account and by-line in the next few years. The internet of stupidity runs the news these days, make no mistake about that. The ignorant love their ignorance, that much is for sure. So I am sitting at my table when Peter from Reuters makes his entrance. Ah, Peter, the man knows how to make an entrance.
“Peter, what’s new in the world?” I’m searching for a lead for tomorrow’s column. Sure, the FBI has declined to recommend an indictment of Hillary, a political decision to say the least. Obviously the fix is in. It is a black day in American history, as if many really cared. One thing one learns in political coverage is that people are the most irrational in their defense of crooked politicians. I mean, look at how many republicans defended Nixon. Now we have how many democrats who defend Hillary’s criminal behavior. I call it the meme of “Our Side Must Win At All Costs”. So Peter shows up and the immediate question is what in the world is wrong with America?
So Peter told me. “Bill, the world is going to hell in a hand basket. I just came back from Brazil and the corruption is so bad it makes Hillary look like a saint. The whores are crying that they can’t make a living, one would think that prostitution was outsourced to a foreign country. They are giving discounts and even credit. Imagine a whore taking an IOU for services rendered. I had to agree with him, my cat has far superior morals. I keep hearing the ELO rendition of “Don’t Bring Me Down. “So Peter, what am I to think about the ways of the world right now? Should I be long honesty or short corruption? ”
Peter just laughed. “No, Bill. It’s not that bad yet. I would say that conditions are not right for the great revolution just yet. But you might be long on AR15s just in case there’s a run.”
“You’re probably right, wouldn’t want to get premature and on the wrong side. Besides, too many express elevators to hell right now. I hear the German Banks are going belly up by year’s end. Heard anything on that.”
“Yeah, if Draghi doesn’t stop printing money they’re going to have to use cabbage leaves. But it’s six, two, and even that Italy goes first. Spain just doesn’t have the balls that Franco left them. On the other hand all that EU debt is pretty well spread around, a reverse share the wealth program. Stupid people don’t realized the politicians of all stripes take the prime cut and leave them the bill. Yeah, everyone wants a piece of the cake they didn’t help bake.”
“You complaining about the welfare system again? You know we got the finest slaves public money can buy.”
“Oh, get off it Bill. You’re doing the Great Society gag again. Welfare’s just a symptom of moral bankruptcy, not the cause. Buying votes is what democracy is all about. Nobody votes against their immediate self interest. What, you want the people to break out in a case of sudden righteous intelligence? Good god, Bill, that will never happen in our lifetime.”
“I suppose you’re right, Peter. You going to the Olympics this summer? I hear it should be fun for the innocent masses.”
“Oh sure, fun for the innocent masses. You remember the world cup games in 2014 in Brazil? The prostitutes hardly made a dime. Imagine, men more interested in a sports game than sex, go figure. Anyway, the girls are lowering their prices and even offering group discounts. Hell, might as well go swim in the ocean next to Rio, pollution is about the same. I thought the girls knew their sex jobs had been outsourced to China. Oh well, live and learn.”
Peter wasn’t making it easy for me to find that next lead for my column. Back to thinking for a change. Man, there was a time when headlines use to write themselves and we got paid in excess to our own abilities.